Office Dares?

1) Run one lap around the office at top speed.

2) Ignore the first five people who say 'good morning' to you.

3) Phone someone in the office you barely know, leave your name and

say,"Just called to say I can't talk right now. Bye."

4) To signal the end of a conversation, clamp your hands over your ears and

grimace.

5) Leave your zipper open for one hour. If anyone points it out,

say,"Sorry, I really prefer it this way."

6) Walk sideways to the photocopier.

7) While riding in an elevator, gasp dramatically every time the doors

open.

THREE-POINT DARES

1) Say to your boss, "I like your style" and shoot him with double-barreled

fingers.

2) Babble incoherently at a fellow employee then ask, "Did you get all

that, I don't want to have to repeat it."

3) Page yourself over the intercom (do not disguise your voice).

4) Kneel in front of the water cooler and drink directly from the nozzle

(there must be a 'non-player' within sight).

5) Shout random numbers while someone is counting.

FIVE POINT DARES

1) At the end of a meeting, suggest that, for once, it would be nice to

conclude with the singing of the national anthem (5 extra points if you

actually launch into it yourself).

2) Walk into a very busy person's office and while they watch you with

growing irritation, turn the light switch on/off 10 times.

3) For an hour, refer to everyone you speak to as "Bob."

4) Announce to everyone in a meeting that you "really have to go do a

number two."

5) After every sentence, say 'Mon' in a really bad Jamaican accent. As in

"The report's on your desk, Mon." Keep this up for 1 hour.

6) While an office mate is out, move their chair into the elevator.

7) In a meeting or crowded situation, slap your forehead repeatedly and

mutter, "Shut up, all of you just shut up!"

8) At lunchtime, get down on your knees and announce, "As God as my

witness, I'll never go hungry again."

9) Carry your keyboard over to your colleague and ask, "You wanna trade?"

10) Repeat the following conversation 10 times to the same person: "Do you

hear that?" "What?" "Never mind, it's gone now."

11) Come to work in army fatigues and when asked why, say, "I can't talk

about it."

12) Posing as a maitre d', call a colleague and tell him he's won a lunch

for four at a local restaurant. Let him go.

13) Speak with an accent (French, German, Porky Pig, etc) during a very

important conference call.

14) Hang a 2' long piece of toilet roll from the back of your pants and act

genuinely surprised when someone points it out.

15) Present meeting attendees with a cup of coffee and biscuits, smashing

each biscuit with your fist.

16) During the course of a meeting, slowly edge your chair towards the

door.

17) Arrange toy figures on the table to represent each meeting attendee,

move them according to the movements of their real-life counterparts.

And if that wasn't enough for you... How to keep a healthy level of

insanity:

1) At lunchtime, sit in your parked car with sunglasses on and point a hair

dryer at passing cars. See if they slow down.

2) Tell your children over dinner. "Due to the economy, we are going to

have to let one of you go."

3) Every time someone asks you to do something, ask if they want fries with

that.

4) Put your waste basket on your desk and label it "IN".

5) Put decaf in the coffee maker for 3 weeks. Once everyone has gotten over

his or her caffeine addictions, switch to espresso.

6) Finish all your sentences with "In accordance with the prophecy."

7) Ask people what sex they are. Laugh hysterically after they answer.

8) Specify that your drive-through order is "to go."

9) Sing along at the opera.

10) Put mosquito netting around your work area. Play a tape of jungle

sounds all day.

11) Have your co-workers address you by your wrestling name, "Rock Hard."

12) When the money comes out of the ATM, scream "I Won! I Won! 3rd time

this week!!!"

Office Dares?

LOL!

This is one of the funniest joke lists I have ever heard!!

Thank you for making me laugh so hard!

STAR FOR YOU

(but really, did you make it up? No. Who does make this kind of stuff up?)

閳?br>Office Dares?

hahahhah....lol..lmao....it's the funniest thing I heard today..here's one for you

A COLLEGE STUDENT'S JOB APPLICATION

NAME: Greg Bulmash

DESIRED POSITION:

Reclining. Ha ha. But seriously, whatever's available. If I was in a position to be picky, I wouldn't be applying here in the first place.

DESIRED SALARY:

$185,000 a year plus stock options and a Michael Ovitz style severance package. If that's not possible, make an offer and we can haggle.

EDUCATION:

Yes.

LAST POSITION HELD:

Target for middle management hostility.

SALARY:

Less than I'm worth.

MOST NOTABLE ACHIEVEMENT:

My incredible collection of stolen pens and post-it notes.

REASON FOR LEAVING:

It sucked.

HOURS AVAILABLE TO WORK:

Any.

PREFERRED HOURS:

1:30-3:30 p.m., Monday, Tuesday, and Thursday.

DO YOU HAVE ANY SPECIAL SKILLS?

Yes, but they're better suited to a more intimate environment.

MAY WE CONTACT YOUR CURRENT EMPLOYER?

If I had one, would I be here?

DO YOU HAVE ANY PHYSICAL CONDITIONS THAT WOULD PROHIBIT YOU FROM LIFTING UP TO 50 LBS?

Of what?

DO YOU HAVE A CAR?

I think the more appropriate question here would be "Do you have a car that runs?"

HAVE YOU RECEIVED ANY SPECIAL AWARDS OR RECOGNITION?

I may already be a winner of the Publishers Clearinghouse Sweepstakes.

DO YOU SMOKE?

Only when set on fire.

WHAT WOULD YOU LIKE TO BE DOING IN FIVE YEARS?

Living in the Bahamas with a fabulously wealthy super model who thinks I'm the greatest thing since sliced bread. Actually, I'd like to be doing that now.

DO YOU CERTIFY THAT THE ABOVE IS TRUE AND COMPLETE TO THE BEST OF YOUR KNOWLEDGE?

No, but I dare you to prove otherwise.

SIGN HERE:

Scorpio with Libra rising.

CHeeRioS

Office Dares?

LOL! I really loved the last one!!!!! :D

Office Dares?

Ok, I never really comment on jokes, but I was laughing so effing hard! Half of those I would get fired for, but it almost would be worth it!! Thank you!

Office Dares?

My new "To Do" list for work! Thanks... Hahahaha!

Office Dares?

Long and boring; heard them all before...you took several different emails and joined them all together into this.

Office Dares?

Sorry I work out side, by myself all day!