Skin infection: How to annoy people people?

Monday, May 7, 2012

How to annoy people people?

When wr!t!ng someth!ng, always use an exclamat!on po!nt where there !s a

lower case "i" to make !t look as though you are wr!t!ng !t ups!de-down.

Page yourself over the intercom. (Don't disguise your voice)

Find out where your boss shops and buy exactly the same outfits. Always wear

them one day after your boss does.(This is especially effective if your

boss is the opposite gender.)

Send e-mail to the rest of the company to tell them what you're doing. For

example: 'If anyone needs me, I'll be in the bathroom.'

While sitting at your desk, soak your fingers in Palmolive.

Put mosquito netting around your cubicle.

Insist that your e-mail address be zena_goddess_of_fire@companyname.com

or mailto:Elvis_the_King@companyname.com%26gt;

Every time someone asks you to do something, ask if they want fries with that.

Encourage your colleagues to join you in a little synchronized chair

dancing.

Put your garbage can on your desk and label it 'IN'.

Determine how many cups of coffee is 'too many'.

Develop an unnatural fear of staplers.

For a relaxing break, get away from it all in the fish tank with a mask and

snorkel. If no one notices, ditch the snorkel and see how many fish you

can catch in your mouth.

Send e-mail messages that advertise free pizza, doughnuts, etc. in the

break room. When people complain that there was nothing there, lean back, rub

your stomach, and say, "You've got to be faster than that."

Put decaf in the coffee maker for 3 weeks. Once everyone has gotten over

their caffeine addictions, switch to espresso.

When driving colleagues around, insist on keeping your car's windshield

wipers running during all weather conditions to keep 'emtuned up.

Reply to everything someone says with, "That's what you think."

Practice making fax and modem noises.

Highlight irrelevant information in scientific papers, then cc them to your

boss.

Finish all your sentences with "in accordance with the prophecy."

Adjust the tint on your monitor so that the brightness level lights up the

entire working area. Insist to others that you like it that way.

Dont use any punctuation

As often as possible, skip rather than walk.

While making presentations, occasionally bob your head like a parakeet.

At lunch time, sit in your parked car and point a hair dryer at passing cars

to see if they slow down.

Specify that your drive-through order is 'to go'.

Stomp on plastic ketchup packets.

Holler random numbers while someone is counting.

Honk and wave at strangers.

Decline to be seated at a restaurant, then eat the complimentary mints by

the cash register.

TYPE ONLY IN UPPERCASE.

type only in lowercase.

What?" "Never mind. It's gone now."

Sing along at the opera.

Go to a poetry recital and ask why the poems don't rhyme.

Five days in advance, tell your friends you can't attend their party

because you're not in the mood.